Help me understand, anyone?
Filed Under: Over A Cup of Coffee @ February 7, 2009 | 2 Comments
Over a cup of steaming hot choco, Kelly and I were talking the other day about her mom. Her mom seems to be incapable of loving her right. Ever since I’ve known her, which is over a decade ago, I was witness in several instances where her mom would just raise her voice at her for no reason at all. She would just go and open the window and her mom would tell her that it’s sunny and not to open it. In a voice you’d think she’d use to an enemy. Or some other instances when her mom could just tell her in a normal voice to do something but would raise her voice just because.
I just couldn’t understand why some moms could not love their children, much less an only child like Kelly, the way they should. I always tell my sister that if I have a child of my own, I will always hug and kiss my child and tell her that I love her. I’ve known other people who also feel like their mothers don’t love them at all. Or they do but they don’t show it for reasons known only to them. In Kelly’s case, we both have a theory. Her parents are separated since she was a little kid. We suspect that her mom is still bitter about it until now and whenever she sees Kelly, the old bitterness comes back haunting her. Kelly looks so much like her dad which is really too bad for her.
Kelly’s mom would not only raise her voice to her but would scold her for things that are silly (like a pair of wrinkled pants or a new t-shirt) or the way she spends her time now (which is totally ridiculous because her mom spends most of her time with her new partner’s kids). And what hurts Kelly the most is that, no matter what she does, she never heard her say anything remotely kind towards her.
Let me tell you what angered me for the first time. I’ve heard lots of stories about their squabbles but this is something for the books. She went to her mom who lives in the province with her new family. She was there despite a double shift at work, sleepless and with a lingering flu. She wanted to surprise her mom with an expensive watch for Mother’s Day. When she gave it to her, do you know what her reaction was? She threw back the box and told her that she has a more beautiful watch than that and that she bought it at a discount. No thank you or you shouldn’t have bought me that or thanks anyway. Nothing. Just those hurtful words.
Our cold dregs of hot choco were witness to the tears I saw for the first time fall down her face. I was also hurting for my friend that time. I can only give her moral support and love. I wish I can give her a new mom.
Comments
2 Responses to “Help me understand, anyone?”
February 8th, 2009 @ 8:45 am
alam mo, there was a time na ganyan din kame ng mama ko. it came to a point na i confronted her about it and even shouted to her face na, “alam mo, parang kang di nanay.” but never in those times na inisip ko na there was something wrong with me. i only found out later on na kaya sya ganyan kase she was jealous of the attention my dad was giving me. daddy’s girl kase ako. kahit hanggang ngayon. pero accepted nya na yun. ok na kame ng mom ko ngayon. nagtatawagan kame every now and then. and when she comes here for a vacation from the US, she stays with me at hindi sa mga siblings ko. i hope your friend won’t think that there’s something wrong with her. sana ma-resolve na nila yan.
grabe parang napahaba ata comment ko. =) hope this helps=)
a {GIRL for all status
tales of a pinay single mommy
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February 12th, 2009 @ 12:55 am
It pains me to hear a story like this. But Cherry’s right I hope one day things will fall into place and your friend will at least know what’s the reason behind all this.
I’m praying for your hurting friend.